Due to the reduced number of characters I will try to be succinct.
Lack of information during Check-in. The guests before us got a long and detailed conversation, we got the most basic talk.
Old-fashioned utilities (some understandably, given the nature of the building, others like the bathtub, not so much.)
Impossible to take a bath due to a malfunction in the bathtub. Also, no slip resistant mat, and a dirty shower curtain.
Air conditioning duct full of dust.
Minibar wasn't even on.
Thick layer of dirt behind furniture.
Rich fauna of spiders and insects.
Dirty windows in the bedroom and at the restaurant.
Expensive microwaved food at the restaurant (Confirmed by staff)
Icing on top of the cake was, knowing my wife is pregnant, the bedroom phone wasn't even connected and there were no instructions to call the reception.
The only person who was really attentive and helpful was Fabiana, that works at the restaurant.
I complained about all of this at check-out and didn't even get a discount. The person simply tried to justify everything with the most idiotic excuses.