“What we’ve learned about family travel as a same-sex couple”

As a queer family, you have to be fine with being different. In fact, you have to own it. You have to be unfailingly out and proud all the time because the last thing you want is for your children to have any sense of shame about who they are. When my wife and I travel with our young daughter, she unwittingly “outs” us all the time by calling us Mummy and Mama.

This means that we choose the destinations we travel to with care, and do our best to seek out places where we can all be our authentic selves in a carefree, happy way. Here are the tips we’ve picked up.

Choose destinations where gay marriage is legal

Making the decision about where is safest to travel to as an LGBTQ+ family is hard, but narrow it down to those where gay marriage is legal, and you have the best chance of feeling welcomed. Among them are Mexico, Canada, Costa Rica, Chile, Colombia, Ireland, France, Australia, South Africa—and many more. (Find an exhaustive list at global LGBTQ+ rights site Equaldex.)

A new addition to the list? Greece recently passed a bill recognizing same-sex marriage and adoption.

Pack your papers

Even if you are married LGBTQ+ parents, you might not all share the same last name, which can mean getting quizzed about your relationship with each other (and your child) at border control. It can pay to bring your children’s birth or adoption certificates to prove you’re the legal guardian, as well as healthcare directives in case of an emergency.

Tap friends for their favorites

Seek out first-hand recommendations for destinations, hotels and experiences from LGBTQ+ friends where possible. We’ve traveled to Ibiza, Lisbon and Crete on the suggestion of friends, all of which were wonderful, plus I’m lucky to be married to the co-author of The Queer Parent: Everything You Need to Know from Gay to Ze, which has a whole chapter on queer family travel. (You can also use Expedia’s search filter for properties that are LGBTQ+ welcoming, as well as one for those that are family-friendly.)

Use Expedia’s chatbot

Last year, Expedia unveiled a conversational travel-planning function on its app, powered by ChatGPT, allowing users to have open-ended dialogues with a virtual “travel agent.” Start by telling it about yourself, what your objectives and parameters are (in terms of dates, season and budget). It can also respond well to specifics such as the ages of the children you have, or recommendations of destinations that would be welcoming of LGBTQ+ families, for example.

For example: “I am a lesbian woman traveling with my wife and young child—where would you recommend we take a vacation where we will feel safe and comfortable to be ourselves?” In this case, the virtual travel assistant suggested Amsterdam, Barcelona, New England’s Provincetown, and Mykonos—all of which are indeed gay-friendly destinations.

Book an aparthotel or vacation rental

Staying in a self-contained private vacation rental always works well for families, as it means you have your own space and can self-cater. But it is an especially good option for queer families who want peace of mind that they can be themselves and completely relax (book one on Expedia using filters like aparthotel, condo, or private vacation home). A rising number of resorts also provide apartments and villas on-site that allow you to have access to hotel facilities and services, but with added privacy. It can also be fun to share the space (and split the cost!) with friends with kids or extended family, so your little ones can play together—and hopefully get some help with the childcare.