Bemus Point Vacations from $1,009

Everything was amazing. Except the one thing that matters at a hotel. The bed. I checked into the hotel and laid down on the bed. Pretty sure I didn’t lay on the bed… I just leaned against the floor with blankets. --- This hotel bed is so hard, I think it’s actually part of the building’s load-bearing structure. --- I tried fluffing the pillow. Turns out it was just a second mattress. --- I rolled over in my sleep and got a concussion from the mattress. --- The hotel bed is so firm the front desk asked if I’d like “extra pillows or a jackhammer.” --- I woke up this morning and my back filed a formal complaint with management. --- This mattress has two settings: Concrete and Historic Stone Monument. --- I asked the front desk if the mattress was memory foam. They said, “No, but it remembers the Great Depression.” --- The bed is so hard when I tossed and turned it sounded like someone shaking a toolbox. --- I tried jumping on the bed like a kid… and the bed won. --- The mattress is so firm if you drop a coin on it, it lands heads up and files for mineral rights. --- I slept on this bed and woke up four inches taller. Pretty sure it straightened my entire spine by force. --- The hotel advertised “orthopedic support.” Turns out it’s just a slab of granite wrapped in a sheet. So yeah. Wont be staying here again..

The breakfast was great. The shower curtains kept sliding down and it was hard to keep the floor dry.