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"Our experience was perplexing from the start, with directions so inadequate that we had to ask the way. When we arrived I was attacked by geese at large in the grounds. Despite profuse apologies from the owner's wife, and the geese then confined to a wired pen, the owner said he wouldn't be lectured, walking away when I offered some advice on the facilities. There was no TV, no WiFi connection facilitated, no freezer compartment in the fridge, not even a teapot or breadbin. To compound our...